JACKPOT!!

So I'm rushing out to meet some friends at a pub in downtown Boston and, per usual, I'm running a little late...

As an aside, I have problems with time. I admit it. Never quite figured it out, that whole leaving BEFORE you actually need to be some place...

Anyway, the minute I make it to the "T" stop (that's "metro" for you folks living outside of Beantown), I hear the train coming. I rush to get a "T" pass, pulling out what I think is a $5 bill. I insert the money into the machine and select the option to add $5 to the ticket. I'm tapping my foot and saying, "come on, come on" through clenched teeth.

Rolling my eyes and sighing loudly, I hear the train getting closer and closer. Now it's screeching to a halt. But at that very second, I'm startled by another more immediate and disorienting sound: the clamor of a slot machine hitting the jackpot.

SHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-ching-ching-ching-ching

But this is no casino. Turns out, I had fed a $20 bill in the ticket machine. Now, giant, golden Sacajaweas are raining down and each is laughing at me. Even her tiny papooses are mocking me with tiny condescending grins.

I scoop up the doubloons and Scrooge-McDuck my way over to the turnstile. At that moment, an army of the roundest, slowest people ever to inhabit the earth saw fit to crowd in front of me forming a mini-Macy's Parade.

So, yeah, I missed the train. But my friends had a hearty laugh that night every time I bought a round of drinks with me pot o' gold.

Me: "Five pale ales, please."

Bartender: "That'll be $30 dollars."

Me: "Here you go...no, they're real. Yunno, they're Sacajaweas."

[Sliding them across the counter]

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiinnnk