10 Worst Songs of All Time

While taste in music varies, the following songs are unequivocally 10 of the worst ever recorded. Each one has been known to induce nausea, ear drum damage and self-punching. Woe unto anyone who has the misfortune of getting one of these atrocities stuck in their head all day.

10. "All Star" - Smash Mouth
“Hey now, you’re has-been, strap some weights on, go swim!” This song literally makes me feel physically ill, and I LOVE the cute guitar riffs they weave throughout this mess.



9. "Hole in the World Tonight" – Eagles
They begin by breaking the terrible news that there is a hole in the world tonight and admonish us to fill the hole by tomorrow. But it’s a big freakin’ hole --- in the world --- and it’s going to take more than a night to fix. Sorry! And there's really no need to keep reminding us.



8. "My Humps" – Black Eye Peas
With lyrics like, “My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,” how can you go wrong? It’s sure to be a timeless classic.



7. "Hey There Delilah" – Plain White T’s
The formula for this ruthlessly self-indulgent song is one guitar and the sounds of a man crying after sex.



6. "Don’t Cha" – Pussy Cat Dolls
Actually, I just wish my girlfriend would jab a screwdriver in my ear.



5. "I Would Do Anything for Love" - Meat Loaf
Begs the question: What exactly won’t you do for love? Lose a few pounds, shave, practice hygiene and write better songs?? Touché, Mr. Meat Loaf, you are a man of conviction.



4. "We Built this City" - Starship
Whatever happened to Jefferson Airplane?? Maybe they could also use rock n' roll to help fill the hole in the world the Eagles were kind enough to point out.



3. "I Need a New Drug" - Huey Lewis and the News
I need about eight new drugs every time I hear this song on the radio.



2. "Trapped in the Closet" - R. Kelly
So terrible it defies words. It's off, off, off Broadway meets Cop Rock (ABC), the miserable prime time cop musical that bombed in the early 90s. How anyone can actually see all 39 chapters of R. Kelly's nightmare and live is nothing short of miraculous.



1. "Forward" – Dane Cook (that’s right, the comedian)
SHAME! A comedian should know better than to subject himself to ridicule with such awful crap! Not only is this a cheap rip-off of Chicago’s “Hard to Say I’m Sorry,” it’s also Dane’s biggest joke. Too bad he’s not kidding.




Please leave a comment if you agree, disagree or if there are any abominations I missed.